A woman recently shared her unusual relationship experience on Reddit, revealing a disconcerting dynamic with her chef boyfriend. She detailed how his obsession with feeding her escalated over their ten-month relationship, prompting her to question whether it was sweet affection or a troubling kink.
Initially, she found his desire to feed her charming. He always offered to share bites of his food and insisted on preparing her meals whenever they were together. However, as time passed and his actions intensified, she began to feel uncomfortable. He even suggested feeding her while she sat on his lap, which she firmly declined. Her discomfort grew as he persisted in his feeding attempts, often insisting that he wanted her to focus on the movie or enjoy their time together instead of worrying about eating.
After receiving advice from users on the subreddit r/relationship_advice, she learned about feederism, a fetish where someone derives pleasure from feeding another person, often with the aim of increasing their weight. Alarmed by this realization, she began to pay closer attention to her boyfriend’s remarks about her body and even dug into his past relationships.
What she discovered about his ex-girlfriend further fueled her concerns. She learned that his previous partner had gone from an average weight of around 140 pounds to approximately 230 pounds. This revelation prompted her to confront him about his feeding habits, which she now suspected were tied to a fetish.
When she invited him over for a movie night, she felt an increase in anxiety. They ordered food, and he again insisted on feeding her. Despite her reluctance, he pressed the food against her lips, and she refused to open her mouth. She finally expressed her discomfort, stating she was an adult who could feed herself. His reaction was immediate and tense; he moved away and stared at her as she ate, a behavior that left her feeling objectified and uneasy.
Ultimately, she reached a breaking point and suggested they should break up due to their differing views on feeding. He reacted defensively, claiming he was just trying to show her love as a chef. When she labeled his behavior as indicative of a kink, he laughed and dismissed her concerns, calling her “sick” for viewing his affection in that light. After this confrontation, he blocked her on all platforms.
Reflecting on the end of their relationship, she felt strange relief rather than heartache. She wrestled with her feelings of confusion and frustration over his inability to discuss his apparent kink openly. One user commented on her post, stating, “He wanted to control you, and resorted to defensive name-calling when you showed him he couldn’t.” This sentiment resonated with her as she grappled with the experience.
An important aspect of her dilemma was the realization that his feeding habits were likely tied to a need for control rather than just affection, which made her question the authenticity of their time together. She wondered why he never confessed to his desires or sought her consent to participate in his kink, leaving her with a sense of betrayal. Another user pointed out that the secrecy surrounding his desires indicated a deeper issue, suggesting he might not fully understand his impulses.
As she processed her feelings, she sought clarity on whether or not to report his behavior to others, particularly in light of the emotional manipulation she experienced. Some readers advised her that she was better off without him, as his behavior didn’t reflect a healthy relationship dynamic. One commenter highlighted that she was right to walk away, saying, “You caught him.”
While she moved on from the relationship, she still struggled with the unanswered questions about his intentions and those of other partners who may have dealt with similar issues. The entire episode left her contemplating the blurred lines between affection and manipulation.
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