A 22-year-old university student has opened up about the toxic dynamics in her relationship with her parents, describing her life as stifling and conditional despite their financial support. In a post that has resonated with many, she detailed her struggles with parental control and the emotional toll it has taken on her.
The student, who goes by the username SquareRegular2871, expressed gratitude for her parents covering her living expenses but quickly noted that this support comes at a heavy price. “I know I am privileged, and I am grateful for all the material support I am given. But I feel so small and suffocated whenever I talk to them,” she wrote.
Her account reveals a history of emotional abuse that started in her childhood. She describes her mother’s conflicting messages of love and control, recalling incidents where she was physically harmed. “It was always ‘I hit you because I love you’,” she said, reflecting on how such expressions warped her understanding of affection. The student pointed out that her parents have frequently expressed their dissatisfaction with her body, labeling it as “disgusting” and insisting that she pursue surgeries to conform to their standards of beauty.
“As soon as I became a legal adult, my parents pushed me to get double-eyelid surgeries because ‘no one will hire an ugly person like you,’” she explained. Faced with relentless pressure, she ultimately surrendered to their demands out of fear of further emotional abuse. “I couldn’t stand hearing comments about my looks every single day,” she shared.
SquareRegular2871 also described how her parents dictated her academic choices, forcing her into a nursing major despite her desires. “I only chose my major because my parents knew the best for me,” she stated. When she attempted to assert her independence by suggesting a gap year to explore her true interests, her father’s reaction was violent. “He grabbed me by the collar and tried to hit me,” prompting her to flee to her university dorm.
Her desire for autonomy extends to her work life as well. Although she wanted to take on a part-time job to gain some independence, her parents forbade it, claiming her grades were too low to allow for such distractions. The control over her academic and personal life is suffocating, and reflecting on the situation, she laments, “I can’t fully be comfortable with them wondering what I should give up next.”
The emotional abuse reached a new low when, after an emotional breakdown last year, she voiced thoughts of self-harm. Her mother’s response was chilling. “She told me someone ungrateful as me doesn’t deserve to be alive anyway,” SquareRegular2871 recounted, highlighting the depth of neglect disguised as familial love.
Despite the pain, the student finds herself torn by mixed feelings of love and obligation. “It’s weird having both memories of being loved, but also being dragged on the floor by my hair and getting kicked to the ground as a child,” she confessed. The affection often feels conditional, linked only to her obedience and achievements. Whenever she performs well academically, it seems to open doors to praise and outings, but failure leads to harsh criticism and emotional distance.
SquareRegular2871 grapples with the idea of going no contact with her parents, but guilt holds her back. “The thought of going no contact in the future keeps appearing in my mind, but my ‘good side’ is telling how ungrateful of me it is to even consider it,” she wrote. This internal conflict leaves her feeling like she is living under the same constraints as a pet dog, valued only for her ability to meet their expectations.
Her post has struck a chord with many, prompting discussions around parental control and emotional manipulation. One reader commented, “You deserve to make your own choices. It’s your life.” Another pointed out the troubling nature of conditional love, stating, “That’s not love; it’s control.”
As she weighs her options, the idea of severing ties with her parents looms large. Understanding that her emotional well-being is on the line, she still hesitates, unsure if she can muster the strength to take such a drastic step. Living with this ambivalence, SquareRegular2871 must confront the possibilities of her future, shaped by the love and pain of her past.
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