Adult Daughter Five Years Low-Contact With Her BPD Dad Got a Message Promising to Reconnect on Her Terms and at Her Pace — He Then Insisted She Drive an Hour and a Half to His House Because “You’ll End Up Coming Here Someday Anyway”

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A mother recently shared her struggles on Reddit, describing a challenging phase in her life that has left her feeling isolated and overwhelmed. With two young children, a 22-month-old daughter and a 6-week-old son, she is facing the realities of postpartum depression and the demands of motherhood.

a woman holding a baby in her arms
Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

While navigating the early days with her newborn, she has also been trying to manage the emotional needs of her toddler. She explains that her daughter has always been temperamental, but her behavior escalated during the mother’s pregnancy. The little girl exhibits meltdowns and a preference for her father, which has added to the mother’s feelings of inadequacy.

The mother reached out for help after contacting Early Intervention for her daughter. The evaluation revealed that the toddler qualified for social work services and occupational therapy, focusing on emotional regulation and socialization skills. The diagnosis was both validating and scary for her. She worries about the implications for her daughter’s future while also dealing with her own mental health challenges.

The situation with her baby has not been any easier. The mother describes her son as increasingly difficult to soothe, noting his erratic sleeping patterns and feeding issues. She suspects he has reflux and is seeking additional medical advice. She feels the weight of juggling numerous appointments for both children, which has deepened her sense of isolation.

“I feel like I’m in survival mode,” she writes, expressing guilt about her perceived failures as a mother. With her husband returning to work soon, she fears she will be left to manage everything alone. Her heartache is compounded by her daughter’s recent rejection of her—something that feels like a sign of their strained bond.

The mother is also facing the all-too-common issue of feeling disconnected from both her children amid the chaos. She reflected on her relationship with her toddler, who has shown a clear preference for her dad, which stings. “She yelled ‘all done mama, dada!’ right after waking from her nap,” she said, encapsulating her fears and heartache in those brief moments.

She is actively seeking support, engaging with her OB regarding her postpartum depression, and working to find a therapist, but it has not been easy. The demands of motherhood are relentless, and the mother feels she is being pulled in every direction without enough time or energy to care for herself.

One person in the thread responded with encouragement, reminding her that it is essential to prioritize self-care, saying that being a good parent includes taking care of one’s mental health. Another reader shared their own experiences with toddler behaviors, emphasizing that many parents go through similar phases, especially when adjusting to a new sibling in the family.

She expressed the importance of reaching out for help and emphasized that support networks can provide the much-needed relief that overwhelmed parents often seek. However, she remains unsure about how to navigate her situation, feeling stuck in her role and guilty about her inadequacies. The comments reflect a community of understanding, with many other parents reassuring her that her feelings are valid and shared.

In her moment of vulnerability, the mother continues to grapple with whether to seek further assistance or to find ways to cope within her current circumstances. Though she is surrounded by the chaos of parenting, she is still on the path to finding the support she desperately needs.

 

 

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