28-Year-Old Still In School Knows Her Parents Are Abusive Because They Keep Asking If They’re Good Parents Like They Don’t Already Know

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A 28-year-old woman, who is still pursuing her education, shared her painful experience of growing up in an abusive household. In a post that resonated with many, she revealed the emotional turmoil she continues to face while grappling with her family dynamics.

Young woman writing at a desk with books
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

In her candid recounting, she described her parents’ behavior as emotionally charged and deeply insecure. Her mother frequently asks her to promise not to go no contact, suggesting an awareness of the dysfunction that permeates their relationship. This leading question reveals an uncomfortable truth: they know they are not good parents.

The daughter articulated how these questions reflect a desperate need for validation from her parents, particularly her father, who often inquires if he is a good dad or if she believes he is abusive. Such questions only serve to reinforce her understanding of their shortcomings; loving and supportive parents do not need to seek affirmation from their children.

As she approached her 28th birthday, she expressed her continual struggle in school, a fight complicated by mental health challenges including depression, anxiety, and OCD. Despite feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances and the legacy of a rocky marriage that ended after just two years, she remains determined to complete her education and improve her life.

The young woman shared that she had confided in the subreddit r/CPTSD about a particularly disturbing memory. Her father once joked about having physically harmed her during her teenage years when she expressed a desire to escape from the pressures around her. This recollection exemplifies the emotional abuse that has shaped her upbringing.

She pointedly noted that when she graduates, she will not acknowledge them in her success. Their support has been nonexistent, and she wishes to distance herself from their toxic influence. Although she is legally an adult, her parents continue to treat her as a child, undermining her feelings and experiences as if the past traumas she endured were trivial.

Discussing her stepmother, she described a woman who issues commands with little respect and often ridicules her. The interactions are laden with condescension, revealing a harsh family environment that offers little comfort or understanding. The stepmother’s comments about her lack of “motherly instincts” only deepen the wounds from her childhood.

Her father, she lamented, remains indifferent during family disputes. His refusal to defend her from recurring verbal and emotional assaults continues to fracture their relationship. She revealed bitter irony in his accusations against her mother for prioritizing her boyfriend over her children while mirroring that same behavior himself.

The daughter noted that despite living under the same roof as her father and stepmother, she has limited communication with them. The tension is palpable, and she grapples with the potential fallout of expressing her truth. She has feelings of anger towards him, knowing that he has chosen a path of abusive behavior that has deeply affected his children.

“He looked us in our innocent faces and hurt us,” she said, reflecting on the pain he has inflicted. She articulated a wish that she could choose different parents. Their disregard for her feelings and the normalization of their abusive actions has left her feeling isolated and hurt.

One reader responded to her situation, acknowledging how difficult it is to break free from family cycles of abuse, echoing her sentiments about the importance of recognizing one’s self-worth despite past trauma. Another commenter emphasized that the daughter’s path to healing is admirable, encouraging her to focus on her independence and personal growth.

The young woman is left contemplating whether to confront her father and stepmother about their behavior, a decision that could either shatter their fragile relationship or empower her to reclaim her narrative. As she continues her journey towards graduation, the shadows of her childhood linger, shaping her path ahead.

 

 

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