Some relationships do not end because love disappears. They end because the emotional weight becomes too heavy to carry. That is where one 20 year old says he is now, stuck between knowing his relationship is hurting him and feeling completely unable to walk away from it.
In a Reddit post, he explained that he has been with his girlfriend since they were 16. What started as his first serious relationship once felt like something that could last forever. But as they have grown older, he says the relationship has become deeply unhealthy, even though the love is still there.
When Love Starts Feeling Like Responsibility
According to his post, one of the biggest issues is how much emotional responsibility he feels. He describes his girlfriend as being highly dependent on him, to the point where he feels like he is responsible for her happiness and emotional stability. They text constantly, call almost every night, and he puts a huge amount of energy into keeping things afloat.
But no matter how much he gives, it never seems to be enough. Arguments happen frequently, often over small things like falling asleep during a late call, being slightly late while out with friends, or not sounding engaged enough on the phone. Even when they are together in person, he says the pressure does not fully go away.
A Cycle That Keeps Pulling Him Back In
What makes this situation especially difficult is the emotional loop he describes. When he is in the relationship, he feels drained, anxious, and overwhelmed. But when he starts thinking about leaving, all he can focus on are the good memories and how much he still loves her.
That push and pull keeps him stuck. He says he has tried to talk about the issues, but feels like she does not really listen or change. Even worse, he often ends up being the one to comfort her after arguments, even when he is the one who was hurt. Over time, that has left him feeling unheard and emotionally exhausted.
Why This Feels Bigger Than Just a Rough Patch
To me, the most telling part of his story is not the arguments themselves. It is how his anxiety shows up in everyday moments. He described a situation at a restaurant where he felt overwhelmed and confused, and instead of support, she became frustrated with him. That kind of response can slowly break down a sense of safety in a relationship.
When someone feels like they cannot be vulnerable without triggering conflict, it becomes harder and harder to feel at ease. And that is usually when love starts to feel less like comfort and more like pressure.
Commenters Are Gently Pushing Him Toward a Decision
The comments were not harsh, but they pointed in a clear direction. One person suggested that communication might still help, especially since they are both young and still learning. Another asked whether his feelings were about losing love or reacting to her behavior.
That question seems to sit at the center of everything. He does not sound like someone who has fallen out of love. He sounds like someone who is overwhelmed, stuck, and afraid of hurting someone he cares about.
But from the outside, it feels like the real issue is not whether he loves her. It is whether he can continue in a relationship that is making him feel this drained. And judging by his own words, he may already know the answer, even if he is not ready to act on it yet.
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