A mother has taken to Reddit, seeking advice after watching her 19-year-old son adopt extremist ideologies in a troubling shift from his previously empathetic nature. The mother, who describes her son as bisexual and raised in a supportive, liberal environment, shares her concerns over a year and a half of behavioral changes that have left her bewildered and worried.
Growing up, the son was kind and empathetic, often moved to tears by injustices faced by marginalized groups. He engaged with current events and had friendships with people of diverse backgrounds. However, the mother indicates that these positive traits have started to fade as he became enraptured with the narratives surrounding figures like Patrick Bateman from “American Psycho” and infamous criminals like Jeffrey Dahmer.
What began as an interest in true crime has spiraled into something more concerning. The son now collects memorabilia related to Dahmer and frequently watches documentaries about the notorious killer. The mother notes that her son has also fixated on individuals like Dylann Roof, a racist shooter, and makes comments about other races that she finds shocking and unsettling. These statements have replaced the compassionate discussions they used to have about issues like racism and misogyny.
The son’s change in perspective coincides with struggles in his mental health, attributed in part to living conditions that exacerbate his high-functioning autism. His isolation, having no friends since he was 14, only deepens his current mindset. The mother recounts how he has adopted a libertarian and populist viewpoint, distancing himself from the liberal ideals he once embraced.
In conversations, he dismisses her concerns about his comments, arguing they are merely “opinions.” He often expresses anger towards women and distrust, claiming that he has never been able to have a romantic relationship due to his height and other personal issues. This shift from an empathetic and open-minded individual to someone who makes derogatory remarks feels almost unrecognizable to the mother.
Attempts to have open discussions with her son about these beliefs have been met with defensiveness. The mother described how instead of engaging, he tends to withdraw further into himself. Her observations suggest that the more she tries to intervene, the deeper he sinks into these troubling ideologies.
One particularly distressing aspect of this transformation is the son’s obsession with Dahmer. He has curated a collection of items related to the killer, including books and documentaries. The mother worries about the influence this fixation has on his worldview, fearing it may further entrench him in negative ideologies and behaviors.
As she reflects on her son’s current state, the mother feels helpless. She has raised him to value empathy and compassion, yet those values seem overshadowed by his new interests and beliefs. The isolation exacerbates the issue, as his inability to connect with others may be pushing him further into extremist thoughts.
Readers have naturally reacted to her story with concern. One person told her, “You need to create a safe space for him to express his feelings without judgment.” Another suggested, “Maybe involving a therapist could help him sort through these feelings and his mental health challenges.” The general consensus revolves around the importance of open communication and understanding.
Despite the advice, the mother feels lost in how to navigate this troubling period. She knows her son is not inherently racist or misogynistic, but every interaction with him feels like a reminder of how far he has strayed from the values she instilled. It’s a painful juxtaposition between the boy she raised and the man he is becoming.
In this moment of crisis, she grapples with the question of how to bring back the empathetic child she once knew. She hopes to find a way to reconnect and address his spiraling ideologies before they define who he becomes for good.
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