A dad recently faced a tough decision involving his spare SUV when he discovered that his ex-wife planned to take their kids, along with their boyfriends, on a vacation trip. The plan included a seven-hour drive, and his daughter, who is just 12 years old, was expected to handle the driving.

The father, who has a background in maintaining the SUV, was left feeling uneasy about the arrangement. He primarily covers the vehicle’s maintenance and insurance costs, which had always been his responsibility even during their marriage.
When he learned about the upcoming vacation, he felt blindsided. His ex-wife had not asked for permission to use the SUV, which raised immediate red flags for him. The family’s sedan was deemed too small to carry everyone, leading the ex to request the larger vehicle, but it was clear that no prior discussion had taken place regarding its use.
The father’s primary concern was the driving experience of his daughter. Although she is a capable driver, she has little experience navigating beyond their home state and was inexperienced with interstate travel. The thought of her driving through heavy traffic, particularly around New York City, made him uneasy.
On top of that, he had no confidence in the plan for who would really be behind the wheel during the trip. His daughter was given instructions that she should always be the driver, but she was also likely to face fatigue during such a lengthy journey. This raised further concerns about her safety and the vehicle’s well-being.
In the past, he had handled various insurance claims and complications arising from his ex-wife’s car accidents. The thought of a similar situation arising during this trip was too much for him to bear. He worried about the potential for damage to the SUV, which would ultimately fall back on him.
Faced with these worries, the father contemplated whether he should deny the request. Allowing his ex-wife and the children to take the car seemed risky, but refusing could lead to confrontational reactions from his ex. He had learned to handle her outbursts with indifference, but this situation felt different.
He felt that the best course of action was to encourage his ex to rent a suitable vehicle rather than using the spare SUV, which he deemed too much of a liability. The father was caught between wanting to protect his daughter and the car and fearing the emotional fallout of denying his ex’s request.
In considering the implications of his decision, he turned to Reddit to gauge public opinion. The question was simple: Will he be the asshole if he refuses to let his daughter and ex-wife use his SUV for the vacation?
One person told him, “It’s your car, you get to decide who uses it.” This perspective highlighted his right as the owner to assert control over his property. Another reader added, “Think about the liability. If something happens while they’re driving your car, it becomes your problem.” This comment resonated strongly, considering the father’s history of dealing with car accidents linked to his ex-wife.
Despite the varied opinions he encountered, the father was left in a position where he needed to balance his daughter’s wishes with his own reservations. He found himself deeply troubled by the prospect of his daughter driving through busy city traffic with minimal experience.
The community’s insights provided some comfort, but the ultimate decision was still his. Should he put his foot down for the sake of safety, or would that lead to unnecessary conflict with his ex-wife? The questions lingered, leaving him to wonder which choice would lead to the least turmoil for everyone involved.
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